


The Brutality of Reality

by fanaticlunatic



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a fluffy ending, Canon Compliant, Comfort, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Help, M/M, Sad, Sam Ships It, Supernatural - Freeform, ahhh, dean comforting cas, djinn prompt, idek at this point, possible future smut lol, spn verse, they're both kinda fucked up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-08-30 13:07:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8534305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanaticlunatic/pseuds/fanaticlunatic
Summary: "Don’t imagine Cas being kidnapped by a Djinn.Don’t imagine Sam being the one who goes inside his head to save him and finding that Cas’s dream world is living a normal life with Dean.Don’t imagine them all hanging out and when Dean finally leaves them alone for five minutes Sam trying to explain to Cas that this isn’t real and Cas saying “I know.”Don’t imagine Cas clinging to the Djinn Dean, begging Sam not to take him back."2016.





	1. Chapter 1

Cas was shaking. Trembling was a more fitting term. Earthquakes of fear and distress rippled through him, his vision being blurred by his own tears.

The memories of being held hostage by a Djinn were resurfacing. After all, Castiel was found nearly dead, stranded in a warehouse barely a week ago. He blanched, remembering how Sam got into his head in an attempt to wake the angel up. Sam was beyond shocked, to say the least. The paradise that Cas was living in bewildered Sam.

Everything was normal in Castiel's idealistic world, the only prominent change being in his relationship to Dean. _Dean_. Even his name could stop the Cas from having a panic attack, fueled by sadness and despair, at least for a second.

In the Djinn world, Dean and Cas were more than friends. So much more. Sam was truly pained by seeing how the both of them looked so lovingly at each other. It was the happiest he'd ever seen either of them in a long time. He dreaded the moment where he had to tell Castiel that none of this was real; the moment where the angel had to wake up and face reality again.

It went nothing like he expected.

When Dean would finally, finally, leave Sam and Cas alone for a moment, for the sake of a beer run, Sam seized his opportunity.

"Cas? Buddy? Hey, this..." Sam struggled for the words that he thought would change everything. "This isn't...well, real." Sam held his breath, waiting for Castiel's imminent denial or confusion.

But the blue eyed angel just sadly looked at his friend. "I know, Sam." He forlornly replied, his eyes downcast.

"Please, don't make me leave, Sam. This dream world is the only world where Dean can and will reciprocate my feelings. I need him."

Sam felt his heart _shatter_. But he knew what had to be done.

Cas clenched his eyes even tighter while recalling the worst emotional pain he had ever been in. He let a few stray tears spill over and cling to his cheek, feeling nothing but undiluted heartbreak and misery.

He let out a sob while recalling how the Dream Dean held his and always pulled Castiel a little closer to him, like the brunet had always wanted.

It wasn't fair.

Cas gripped a pillow tightly and shoved his fist into his mouth to stop himself from screaming. He cast his eyes upward, praying to God to help end his suffering. It was times like these when he seriously doubted the existence of God, wondering why God himself would let his angels suffer like this.

The door to Castiel's bedroom opened ever so slightly, letting in a thin stream of light. As fate would have it, it was none other than Dean Winchester himself.

"Hey, Cas, just wanted to say goodni-" Dean abruptly stopped. "Cas? What's wrong?" Dean's eyebrows crinkled with confusion.

The tenderness and concern in his voice made Cas want to break down all over again.

Dean hesitantly walked over to the bed and sat down. He reached an arm out toward the pained angel. Castiel flinched away. He couldn't do this. Not again. Dean jerked away his arm like he'd been burned. He slowly let his hand fall back to his side, where it limply hung.

"Cas." The green eyed hunter said softly.

Cas curled in on himself, making himself as small as he possibly could, silently apologizing for being a nuisance. He cried into his blanket, wishing it was Dean. Dean helplessly looked on, cursing himself for being so _useless_ in this situation. He finally spoke up.

"Cas, please. Talk to me, man. This isn't you. Let me help you. Please." Dean practically begged the angel. Castiel just looked at Dean's stupidly beautiful emerald eyes, looking the most tired Dean had ever seen him. Dean awkwardly opened his arms; affection was not his strong point.

Cas nearly tackled him, craving the comfort, the warmth, the touch, _just the epitome of Dean_ , in every way.

He could feel tears welling up in his eyes again, knowing that he could never have more than this, knowing that they would never be anything more than platonic. He silently cried and shook in Dean's shoulder, relishing the embrace. Dean felt harrowed. How long had Cas been feeling so down? Dean, too, shut his eyes and tried not to think about it. Normally, he'd try to avoid these types of things, write them off as "chick flick moments," but with Cas, it was...different.

He didn't mind being an anchor for Cas. After all, he knew he could always count on Cas to be there for him. Too often, he decided, he too needed someone to just be there for him.

The brunet pulled his face out from the crook of Dean's neck to apologize for the tear stains on his jacket, but Dean took one look at the angel's too bright eyes and tired features and pulled him right back in.

"Shh. S'okay, Cas. Everything's okay." Dean whispered, in what he hoped was a soothing manner. He moved his hand up into Castiel's hair, trying to smoothe it out, gently combing through it. He wrapped his other arm around the blue eyed angel's waist and let his entire body weight lean on him, somewhat enjoying the warm weight Cas was offering.

In the most heterosexual way, of course.

And as Castiel felt his eyelids droop and heard Dean humming out the beginning to _Hey Jude_ , he, for the first time that night, believed that things would turn out okay.


	2. Chapter 2

Warmth. He had never felt so warm before. Castiel burrowed deeper into the warm body he was pressed up against, his head nestled under Dean’s chin, willing the moment to last forever. He didn’t want to open his eyes, he just wanted to stay here with Dean. He felt the arm draped across his side tighten, holding the angel closer to Dean. Cas froze as he felt Dean awaken. 

Dean groaned, scrunching up his eyes and blinking slowly, his eyes being almost  _ unbearably _ green. His eyebrows shot up when he saw how close their bodies were pressed, a look of mild bewilderment passing over his features. He shrugged it off, paying almost no heed to it.  _ Almost. _

“Mornin’, sunshine,” the hunter yawned. “Breakfast?” he asked, with a small smile. Cas could do little else but nod slowly, craving more alone time with Dean. He knew that food was not a necessity, but rather a luxurious excuse for him to spend time with the Winchesters, predominantly the elder of the two. 

Cas lifted the duvet off the two of them and watched the hunter, wondering what he should do next. Dean shook his head and broadened his smile at the angel, whose heart was  _ hammering. _

The green-eyed man walked toward the kitchen, his body facing away from the angel as he ran his hands through his hair. He felt so light remembering how peaceful and serene Castiel looked when he was blissfully asleep. Dean then frowned when he recalled the events of the previous night. He shut his eyes tightly, like he was  _ in pain.  _ The utter hopelessness and despair in the angel’s eyes resurfaced in his memory as well.

Dean subtly but surely shook his head, almost not accepting that his friend was feeling so depressed. 

He didn’t need to blame himself for something else. He already believed that he was a mistake, only casting pain and misfortune.

The hunter sucked in a deep breath and exhaled. He wasn’t going to let his self hatred deprive Castiel of food. Dean decided that omelettes and pie were a sufficient breakfast. He whistled while setting the table for two, noting how Sam had already had breakfast and gone out for a run, the insufferable health freak. 

Dean heard a soft rustle of feathers and knew instantly that the angel was next to him, undoubtedly invading his personal space. Sure enough, when he turned around, he found that their noses were almost touching, sapphire eyes boring holes through him. 

He didn’t mind. 

The hunter simply gestured to the dining table and the steaming omelettes next to the slightly refrigerated apple pie. Cas slowly sank into a chair and savoured the slightly salty taste of the omelette, relishing every bite. 

“This is very good, Dean,” Castiel praised Dean with his mouth full of the breakfast they were both heartily enjoying. 

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean replied, sincerely happy that the blue-eyed man was pleased with his efforts. However, he was unable to eat even the apple pie, the “damn best of all the pies, Sam.” He nervously bounced his knee, rapidly shaking his chair.

“Dean?” Castiel set down his cutlery, expectantly looking up at the green-eyed man. “What’s happened?”

Dean took another deep breath. He didn’t know how to start. He looked down at his fiddling hands, being the epitome of nervous, dreading the upcoming conversation he knew they had to have. 

“Cas? Can we go o-over what happened yesterday night?” Dean carefully asked. He held his breath; the anticipation was killing him. He regretted the question instantly when he saw the usual gleam from the angel’s eye became dull. “I’d rather not, Dean,” Castiel responded, not meeting Dean’s eyes. “I can’t.” 

“Hey, come on buddy, I want to help y-” Dean quickly interjected, beginning to formulate an argument. “No, Dean.” Cas retaliated, with such force that it was like he had punched Dean instead. 

Castiel picked up his fork, gripping it so tightly that his knuckles were as white as his napkin. He set it down again, deciding against continuing his meal. He stood up, visibly upset. Dean opened his mouth, attempting an apology. Cas dismissed him with a wave of his hand, blotting his mouth with the napkin and throwing it down onto his plate. “Thank you for the meal,” Castiel curtly said. 

“Cas,” Dean simply stated, a mixture of sadness and guilt. “Stay,  _ please. _ ” Dean practically begged. 

But his efforts were futile, as the angel was already almost running back to his room, deliberately turned away from the hunter, tears once again welling up in his eyes. Incredible, he thought, he was able to fight in wars without shedding a tear, but one human left such a profound impact on him. He knew he was weak. 

Once alone in his room, he made an unbelievable endeavor to keep himself from crying again. He did not need more sympathy, especially not from Dean. Castiel leaned heavily on his door, taking slow, measured breaths while blinking away his tears. He did his best to maintain a calm, stoic expression, while his loneliness and grief crushed him on the inside. 

  
Castiel had never felt so cold before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again! i am so sorry it has been a RIDICULOUSLY long time since i have updated this fic...whoops. (2 weeks to be exact.) so i have decided to keep this going, i feel like i have a pretty good idea of where to take this fic. i will try to have an updating schedule, possibly every saturday? (NOT a promise, but a definite effort) 
> 
> as always, all feedback is encouraged and completely welcome, criticism included! yell at me on tumblr @ fanaticlunatic 
> 
> comments and/or kudos are appreciated!
> 
> have a fantastic day/night/morning/evening/noon/dawn/dusk/etc. mishamigos!  
> until next time <3 
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING ILY


	3. Chapter 3

Dean wanted to vomit. His feelings of guilt and poignant self hatred were swirling inside of him, making Dean visibly uncomfortable. He was sat at their dining table, seeking refuge in strong alcohol and an old album of The Rolling Stones. 

He didn’t even notice Sam walk through the door holding groceries, his internal turmoil louder than he could handle. Dean sighed and pressed his hands to his face, feeling the impending headache pound against his skull. He gripped his almost-full glass of whiskey tighter, forcing himself to stop thinking of Castiel. 

No matter how hard he tried, Dean could not forget the image of the angel with his eyes welled up with tears, running from Dean. It seemed that the hunter hated himself more with every passing day. 

“Dean.” Sam’s voice seemed faraway, distant, snapping Dean out of his state for a second. “Are you okay? You and Cas both seem kind of...down,” Sam said, carefully, not wanting to upset Dean further. 

“Yeah, well,” Dean scoffed out a reply, evidently not caring about his harsh tone. Sam heaved a deep breath. In moments like these, it was clear to him how unnerved his brother was. He sat down next to Dean, trying to coax out an explanation. 

“Cas has been strange, well, stranger than usual since yesterday,” Dean elaborated, not quite meeting Sam’s eyes. The younger hunter’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second. Sam really hoped he didn’t know what was going on. He wondered if Cas had tried to come clean about the Djinn to Dean, only to an unsupportive reaction from Dean. 

“Has he said anything in particular?” Sam tried to shoot for normalcy, keeping his tone casual and light-hearted. “He was apologizing a lot. And there were a lot of tears. Which is strange for him, he’s one of the toughest people I know.” Dean looked down into his glass, sighing again. 

Sam felt his worries increase by tenfold and got up to look for Cas. He saw that Cas had closed his bedroom door and had probably locked it shut. Sam tentatively knocked, concerned about the chaos he could potentially find inside. He tried the doorknob and was surprised to find the room unlocked. 

He opened the door hesitantly, peering inside. Sam saw Cas in a similar state as Dean; head in his hands, looking like he deeply regretted something. Cas looked up at Sam and blinked, once, twice, before he moved over and let the hunter sit next to him. 

Sam decided Castiel needed a hug and embraced the angel, letting him know that he would always have at least two different people to go to for comfort. “Dean misses you, Cas. He wants to talk to you,” Sam quietly muttered, an arm still wrapped around the angel. 

Together, they rose and made the short walk back to the table. Dean looked up and annoyed the twinge of jealousy that coursed through him when he saw Cas with Sam. He felt like he was the one who was supposed to perpetually be at the side of Castiel. 

Dean smiled at the angel, putting up a facade, deliberately hiding his feelings. He stood up and hugged Castiel, who slowly put his arms around Dean as well. They broke apart and awkwardly stood still for a moment, and then the two both burst into rapid apologies, to the amusement of Sam.

Sam rolled his eyes and interrupted the pair. “I found a possible vampire nest down in Texas. Two girls have been reported missing and a man was found completely drained, with what appeared to be puncture holes in his neck. Sounds like a vamp to me.” 

Dean tore his eyes away from Castiel’s and nodded his head, picking up his coat that he haphazardly threw over his chair earlier. Dean threw an arm around Castiel’s waist and headed toward the Impala, while Sam gave them a knowing smile that they didn’t see and muttered about “chick-flick moments.” Dean heard him and flipped him off while Cas laughed and leaned his head against Dean. 

Cas desperately hoped they would be all right as he got into the backseat of the car, Dean already playing his music obnoxiously loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for a short chapter :/ i wanted to get this stuff out of the way to prepare for some other things. mwahahahah 
> 
> hey guys! im so so so so so so sorry that it took me months to update. ive been going through some stuff :/ i also didnt want to update before i was caught up to the show because i wanted to see the character development and if there was anything useful in the plot that i could potentially use in a fic. i know thats no excuse but again, im so sorry. its summer break now so i will hopefully update more often! (this time im serious lol) 
> 
> once again, comments are encouraged and much appreciated :) feel free to leave suggestions and constructive criticism as well! 
> 
> thank you so much for reading this fic!!! i love you guys so much and i hope you have a wonderful day/night/dawn/dusk/noon/morning/evening/etc. adios mishamigos!
> 
> (come yell at me on tumblr @ fanaticlunatic!!)
> 
> <3 <3 <3

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys! thank you for reading and please pls pls comment. any and all feedback is welcome and encouraged. so yeah, my first ever spn fic/fic on ao3. ahh. I'm debating on whether or not to make this part of a series, again, any and all feedback is fantastic. also feel free to come yell at me on tumblr, @fanaticlunatic. :) have a good day/night/noon/evening/morning/dusk/dawn/etc. adios mishamigos!


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